Cатсн²² (in)sесuяitу / ChrisJohnRiley

Because we're damned if we do, and we're damned if we don't!

Category Archives: Strange

Taking out the Eurotrash

eurotrash_sqRegular listeners are probably already aware by now, that the Eurotrash is no more! As with all good things, there had to be an end, and with the last Christmas episode, we got the old crew back together for one last go around! We’d like to say that we’re throwing in the towel because our efforts to solve world hunger and push the middle east peace process through is taking up most of our time, but if I did I’d only be telling half the truth.

A While ago the crew decided that we weren’t having enough time to record and edit the way we wanted to… as you can see, the number of episodes in 2014 was down on the previous years, because of lack of time and so many other projects. So, something had to give. We hope you’ve had a fun journey with us over the years, and it’s been a pleasure to do.

So, thank you Ben, Craig, Dale, Wim… thank you to the guests over the years for putting up with our silly questions… and most of all, thank YOU the listeners for making us want to do this thing again and again until our hands bled from the editing, and our families were starving on the streets*

So, this Christmas time, don’t cry for us! Light a candle (or a cigarette), and raise a glass (or a bottle of vodka) to the Eurotrash Security Podcast… gone but not forgotten! Episode 50: The Final One… evar

“Doesn’t Ben look hawt in his new work outfit!”

Note: Past episodes will remain available on http://eurotrashsecurity.eu until such time as  Craig gets so drunk that he forgets to renew the domain… or he pawns it to buy cheap aftershave! So probably a few months at least 😉

* Not actually starving

The long goodbye…

endI remember when I first saw him… I thought he was ugly, unruly and unworthy of my attention… and so I shunned him. After a time, I looked back, unable to ignore that “something” that I was missing. I went back, and once more he failed to impress. Again, I shunend him. There was just that something that was missing. It was all there in the promise, but in reality, it just didn’t click… once again I shunned him and moved on. It was some time later that I realised what I’d done. That i’d misread him and mistaken what he offered. He was my future after all, and there was nothing else that would be better for me. I embraced him, let myself fall into a rhythm and never looked back!

Years later I can think on that moment, having moved on to newer and better things, and remember the first time I saw him across the room. He seemed to glow, at least that’s what my memory tells me. We’re not together anymore, and I miss him sometimes, but you know what… it’s OK. It’s Ok for both of us. We grew apart and he just couldn’t fill my needs anymore. To be honest, it was me that first broke away… I don’t want to call it playing away, but it’s what it was I guess. There were just needs that he couldn’t forfill anymore, and I needed something that I couldn’t get from him anymore. I knew that he knew… and he knew that it was what I needed… he never judged! He was good like that.

The time has come though my friend. I can’t be with you anymore… those long nights we spent together have to come to an end. The time has come to say goodbye forever.

Goodbye my friend… you’ll always be in my memories!

Windows XP (2001 – 2014)

The Script Kiddie 5-step program

We were all script kiddies at some point, even if we don’t like to admit it in public (I know I was for a long time, probably still am sometimes). So, to ease the process of getting your big boy hacker pants, I’ve drawn up this quick 5-step program!

  1. Understand your tools
  2. Understand the protocols
  3. Learn to fix a tool/script that’s broken
  4. Try to adapt a tool/scripts to improve them
  5. Write your own tool/scripts

Yeah I know… nothing amazing and black art style… but going from nothing to something doesn’t mean being a master. It does however mean that you need to work at it!

Text-based adventures… a retrospective

© Jared von Hindman (http://headinjurytheater.com/) I hope he doesn't crash a plane into my house for using this image ;)

© Jared von Hindman (http://headinjurytheater.com/)

I still remember the first ever text-based adventure I played. No need for high-end graphics cards and kinetic camera systems. Just you against the mind of the creator.

Wether it was Zork, Leather goddesses of Phobos, or any of a thousand spin-off titles, they all remind me of my childhood! It seems like an age ago now, but it went a little something like this.


You wake up, bleary eyed in a long darkly light room. Your right arm aches from the injection, at least you think that’s what it was. Memories are hard to grasp as your head spins. The walls are bare and the air has an acrid smell to it that makes you gag.

There is a large oak door to the north and a small gap in the south wall leading off into darkness.

> go north

“I don’t understand what you want me to do”

> n

You go north. Beyond the door is a room of wonders. In the sparse light you see things that you never thought you’d ever see. You are eaten by a grue!

> go south

“I don’t understand what you want me to do”

> s

You breath in and squeeze your way along the ever shrinking tunnel. Just as you think it can’t get any smaller, you’re eaten by a grue!

> look

“look at what”

> look at floor

“It’s a floor”

> go^H^Hw

“You can’t go that way”

> e

“You can’t go that way”

> up

“You can’t go that way”

> down

“You can’t go that way”

> nweweqwqeqwrqwrqwr

“I don’t understand what you want me to do”

> fuck

“What do you want to fuck?”

> you

“I don’t understand what you want me to do”

> se

“Congratulations you’ve found a secret tunnel leading south east corner. The tunnel is long and winds up and down until it comes into the bright midday sun. Your eyes adjust to the harsh light just in time to see yourself getting eaten by a grue!

> exit

“I don’t understand what you want me to do”

> quit

“are you sure you want to quit?”

> Y

“You are eaten by a grue…”